I'm the one giving birth!

     Sometimes, I feel a sense of entitlement comes with my pregnancy. I did it the first time around, and am finding myself falling into similar habits this time as well. I feel I have the upper-hand since I am the one having to deal with the emotional upheavals of pregnancy. I have to finish the conversation. I get to watch my shows first.  I have to eat steak when I want steak. You get the picture.
 In short, I am always right. I am the victim. I need tending to. After all, I am the one who is pregnant!

Me! ME! MEEE!

Just kidding. Kind of. 

I don't think I'm really that bad, but giving myself kudos for self-realization. Hey, the first step is acknowledgment.

Anyway,

       The other day I came across this article. It states that young Dads are at risk for depression from birth of a new child - until kindergarten. The actual number has not been determined, mainly due it not having been reported. The root causes are unknown, but I can speculate some contributing factors. Bottom line- it's a serious issue that needs attention

 It raised awareness in my mind, and it helped me understand this: I'm not the only one involved in the nitty-gritty of a pregnancy. The person by my side everyday has been through it all as well.  The good, the bad, and whatever else comes in-between. That person is my one and only.

 My husband. 
He is right there with me, going through the whole process as well.  He stayed up the entire time during our 12-hour labor, held my hand while I was pushing, brought me pizza after delivery, changed baby's first diaper. The list goes on. See? I can be thankful at times. But, in all seriousness, I realized the current state of affairs needed to modified. I had to reach out.  

         To be honest,  I hadn't even asked him how he was handling the birth of our baby 9 months ago, or how he has been feeling about the impending birth of our new baby. I was so  focused on how I was dealing, and how my life was affected that I didn't stop to think to check up on my husband. It never even occurred to me. Maybe, just maybe I could take a step back from myself, and look to my right-hand man. All entitlements aside. 

       So, I sat down, and asked him. He was surprisingly candid, and shared his anxieties of financial stability, and his need to be a good father. He had felt overwhelmed in the first months after birth, but that feeling has subsided as Baby Z gets older. He was overjoyed to hear the news about our 2nd pregnancy, and looks forward to expansion.  

So, it's true - Dad's need attention too! No, they aren't giving birth, or breastfeeding, but play a significant role in child-rearing (in-home or not).  There is significant research that indicates this as well.  Acknowledgment, and understanding is paramount. If not, something can slip through the cracks. Take the time to check in. 

Depression is a serious issue whether it be in male or female, and in this case mother or father It should be addressed.  In most cases, new moms get the majority of attention during and after child-birth. Additionally, moms may have more resources to get depression diagnosed through frequent doctors visits, etc. New Dads, however, may not get the proper attention needed to ease their tensions as well. We can change this. 

 Stressful situations can additionally lead to depression. For example, the arrival of a newborn. I know my husband has been a lot more focused at his job than he was before when it was just the two of us. We had a little more freedom with our careers. We could be a bit more wasteful with our money. Things are different now. 

 We just have to be more careful with our familial decisions now that we have a little being to take care of.  The pressure to keep a job, have a steady income, provide for a family becomes very real during the first few years of baby's arrival. We sure feel it. 

But, this is a process all new parents must go through, the key is to stay healthy through it all. Stress management is so important. We can help each other navigate these waters. This is our time to make of it what we may. Stay involved. Check in with your partner periodically. 
Don't wait!


(The above is a painting in our room. It has a soothing quality to it)

Word of the Day

I was out running errands yesterday with little miss in tow, and had to stop for an oil change. The man at the counter assured me that the task would be completed with the utmost of expedience. After all it was the express service. But, then he said something about me that caught me off guard. He had used the word of the day. What word do you think it is?

 Radiant? Astounding? Charming? Nope. None of those positive picker-uppers. Instead, he said " I'll make sure this goes through our express service, because you sure look exhausted, completely EXHAUSTED!" And I am positive he put an oomph on the word, every time he used it. 

At the end of the trip, he used the E word  yet again. Hello! Synonym much? This time saying, " Ok all done. I know what it's like having children. Well, not physically but they are so exhausting. Now, you can go home and get some rest."  

Here's the sad part, I wasn't exhausted. I actually dressed up. I put in an effort to put on some light makeup, and look presentable. Quite a change from the last few months. I was proud of myself for trying. How then did I look exhausted?  Was it his assumption because I was holding a baby?  Was it a lame attempt at being cordial?

 Whatever it was, it bugged me, and I couldn't figure it out why. What does it matter if some random person thinks I look exhausted. Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones, who knows? 

but.... I will admit

All I really wanted is some recognintion. Some positive reinforcement. Anything that acknowledged how I felt. Something like: 

"Wow, great job multi-tasking!" or "Saving the world before bedtime!"

Is that too much to ask?

Sigh

                                                

Monterrey excursion

Have you ever been to Monterrey? It's off the coast of central California. My husband and I took a trip there recently, and we loved it. It's this quaint little beach town, with fun shops, scenic drives, and a boardwalk. I loved taking photos with my new camera! I wanted to share some of my photos that I took. Tell me what you think!

Spicy Chicken Stir-fry

Whenever I am in the mood for Chinese style take-out, I always ask myself if I can make it healthy by making it at home. I've been trying to overcome the desires to eat out by making similar stir-fry's at home. Some items just can't be made at home... ie .. chow mein! Well, they can, but I haven't yet perfected that recipe. I have been tinkering around with this recipe to maximize flavor, and minimize calories. Here are the results...

Try it the next time you want a take-out stir-fry!

Ingredients-

2 chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized chunks

1 cup broccoli

1/2 cup of red bell bepper, sliced

1 large jalapeno, sliced

1/2 tablespoon chopped garlic

1/2 teaspoon flaked chili peppers

1 tablespoon rice-bran oil 

Sauce-

2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce or liquid aminos

3 tablespoons water

1/2 teaspoon cornstarch (optional)

Marinade-

1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Directions-

Pour marinade over chicken pieces, and store in fridge until ready to use. This step can be omitted if in a time crunch. Add oil to fry pan or wok. Heat to medium high. Add the chicken, and cook until more than half-way cooked but not fully cooked. Add vegetables, and stir fry for a minute or two more. Now add the sauce into the mix. The mixture will thicken 

Serve over rice, or eat as is

Enjoy!

Grilled Salmon with Dill sauce

 This is a simple, and quick meal, that's both healthy, and yummy. I like to serve over vegetables (pictured), or potatoes. I really wanted a healthier option for the dill sauce, so, I tweaked it a little as it is normally made with sour cream, and mayo.This recipe was adapted from my family's restaurant. 

Ingredients-

2 large salmon fillets (4-6 oz)

Salt and Pepper to taste

Dill Sauce-

1/2 cup greek yogurt

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon of dill weed (fresh or dry)

Directions- 

Heat grill on medium high. Season the fish with salt and pepper to liking. Cook salmon on grill to desired doneness. I cook about 6 minutes per side. 

Dill Sauce- combine all ingredients in a small bowl, and mix until all ingredients are well incorporated. 

Serve with rice, vegetables, or potatoes

One more go on the Merry-go-round

So, we found out we are expecting baby number 2 this week. It was kind of unexpected. It's not that it happened out of the blue, but I also didn't expect it to happen so soon since took us a while with our first one. I assumed that original waiting period must be the norm. This brought up some mixed emotions. Am I ready for this? is this the right time to have another baby? ( although, it doesn't matter now) Will my housework double? What will happen to my career? It was one question after another. I fought back tears as these questions played out in my mind.

I'm just scared. Scared, of the changes that lie ahead. I felt the same type of anxiety before I got married. The feeling that things will never be the same. The feeling that I am not responsible for only myself. The feeling that I must plan out once impromptu trips.The feeling that I might lose myself in the process of becoming a Mom again.

As a point of clarification, I love being a mom. It has been an incredible experience. I am 7 months postpartum, so things are calming down a little. I am no longer operating on 3 hours of sleep. I don't miss pumping every 3 hours, even in the middle of the night. I sure as heck like having the ability to walk without some sprays of Dermoplast in my private parts. Finally, I can walk past a mirror, and not be afraid of my reflection. 

 The addition of a child into the fold is an overwhelming experience. I can't say whether having two is different than one. I don't know if there are different struggles than with one. I just know life is changing once again. 

 Then again, I couldn't expect things to stay the same forever. If they did, I would complain that nothing new happens in my life. Maybe it's human nature to be cautious of the unknown.  Who knows?

But, this is what I do know: Change is inevitable. I must embrace it, rather than be afraid.  I try to remind myself of this truth. However, these are just words. I can tell myself, but feeling them; living them is what actually matters.

I am learning through my experiences everyday. This is my chance to make the most of it. I can choose how I want to look at the situation. 

So, I have assessed: I am happy to experience pregnancy once again, and look forward to another little person entering my world.  My only hope is that I can be a good role-model, and friend. 

 Raising a child is truly a labor of love. A lot of hard work goes in, but yields so much back in unconditional love. You can trade in all of the unsavory moments for a snuggle, a tooth-less smile, and a tiny hand gripping yours. In those moments, it's pure bliss.  Those are the moments I will cherish forever.