The Worth of a Master's Degree

Every time I've graduated from an academic institution - I have this nightmare.-

 I imagine a huge auction being held. I stand there. My degree is held up. The auctioneer holds up a high school diploma starting the bid, employers in the crowd shout numbers attaching the worth of that degree to what they think should be offered

$10,000! $10, 500!

The next time I had this dream was when I got my bachelor's degree

$15,000! $18,000?

Again, when I got my Masters degree

18,500? 20,000?

I'm guessing the figures offered in my dream have had tax-deducted, and have been adjusted for inflation since they were so damn low.

But that's not the worst part of the dream. It's what's behind me.  My student loans. A glaring number in red pushing me to stand out, to work harder, to obtain the highest bid.

I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. But mostly, it's helplessness. A sense of dread that I cannot escape. Unable to move forward, unable to go back. I'm stuck.

And then, I wake up. The auction is over. I realize that it was just a dream.

I think,  Don't be silly, there isn't a worth attached to degrees

Or is there?

Shouldn't the worth of the degree in the market place be equivalent to the cost of it?

There is a parallel relationship between the auction numbers, and the loan numbers. They both go up as I progress in degree collection. However, the loan grows larger-  unable to keep up with auction offerings. Herein lies my problem

So I ask myself again and again-

Is the worth of the degree measured by what we achieve because of it, or the actual cost ?

Doesn't seem like either right now. I am not employed now, but when I was,  I certainly wasn't being paid what the cost of degree was. The world of employment doesn't work that way. In a way, I understand why it can't. They say that more people now obtain a bachelors degree than have ever before. There are just too many people out there vying for the same positions.

Coolio got it right in Gangstas paradise...

 Too much television watching has got me chasing dreams {that were possibly unattainable.} Now, I feel like an educated fool with money on my mind.

I am disillusioned. Perhaps.

I may be in the minority here, but I still believe in the power of education. For yourself. The knowledge you obtain can never be taken from you. Well, unless you got a lobotomy. But I think that's rare these days. This is why I continue to go back. I feel I am investing in myself. I am more confident in decision making, rational thinking, and writing because of what I have learned. 

Does going to school and obtaining a degree entitle us to more money, prestige, or social position? Certainly not. Although it may feel like it, it does not.

Now, I am not saying that you shouldn't feel proud but just don't expect magical things to happen as soon as you graduate, or hope that compensation will come close to what you had in mind.

Is it a cold, bleak world out there? Yes and No

Yes, because it will seem hard at first. Initially, I completed 200 job applications in a month to only get 3 replies back. I kid you not. 200 applications in which I entered my education, work history, interests, etc. I felt upset that no one wanted to employ me... until I realized I was going about it the wrong way. I wasn't applying to jobs suited to my interests.

No, because in going through these applications, I really figured out what might be a good fit. I started getting better by applying to jobs I wanted to, and thought I would genuinely like. I wasn't just throwing a line out there, hoping something, anything would bite.

Is my master's degree worth a million dollars? Sure... but only to me. Right now. Maybe no one else is seeing what I am seeing.

This may be the case or it may be that I haven't gotten into the right position to get me there. I need an employer to take a chance on me even If I don't have the most extensive of experience. I can develop those skills if offered a chance! {PS, Call me}

Last minute beauty gifts!

Okay, so there are sooo many great deals this year! I missed out on a few I really wanted on black friday, but that's ok. I am in the market for make-up this year. I haven't bought any great new products in long time. Lucky for you, I've found some awesome deals on Amazon, I have prime so it's my one of my main shopping choices. Free 2 day shipping!

Check these out if you're still looking to find that perfect gift for yourself or someone else!

On to the list...

Getting Back into the Groove

Or... It can be child birth.

It isn't a fall, but it certainly set me back a few months. My baby boy made his arrival as he planned, on his due date, October 23.

I waited for so long, and now it feels like it just came and went, and here he is about to turn 6 weeks in a day. It was a pretty uneventful birth. We went to the hospital, he was born a few hours later, and we were released the next day. So, that all in all I was happy with that experience.

The real trouble began with my toddler and newborn combined. They create this super power that's tough to tackle alone. I was glad to have the help I did. Things are finally starting to come into focus.

So, now I am slowly turning it back to me, and focusing on getting my health in order.

First off, I have about 20lbs I need to shed through diet and exercise. I am not ready to reduce food intake, but am going to slowly incorporate in an easy workout.

Today is the first day they both have napped at the SAME time! By some sort of cosmic connection. The stars aligned, and their nap times collided allowing me to get in a blog post! Yay!

Let's get back into the swing of things, and get going!


Above photos-
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/397020523374905878/
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/537898749216244026/

Today I Cried Watching Frozen

Granted I'm in my third trimester, but really? Frozen?

It makes me laugh because the movie is not supposed to be sad or stressful by any means. It was within the first 5 minutes of the movie too.

Why couldn't Elsa come play with Anna?
 I imagined a little girl knocking on her sister's door. Feeling her sadness of being alone, and afraid, I began to cry. I wanted to scoop up little Anna, and go build a snowman with her. That's all she wanted to do... was just build a snowman. Is that so hard?

Elsa could have just used those gloves, and built a normal snowman sans magic. Ugh, poor Anna

I wanted to grieve with semi-teen Anna when her parents passed, and give her comfort when she needed somebody to go to.

"No one should have go through this!" I managed to choke out as my tears became more hysterical. Why is she alone? She needs support!"

I kid you not, this happened. I finally stopped crying when Anna met her fake prince charming. Silly right? I kind of felt embarrassed for myself afterward. It was just my 13 month old and I, but still I just couldn't understand what was getting me so worked up about this movie. Even my kid seemed alarmed, she stopped watching the movie and climbed up on the sofa to rest her head in my lap.

Lately, I've noticed this happening a lot. I cry at commercials, songs, movies, anything! I can't remember if I was this emotional with my last pregnancy. It's like I have no recollection of it. Weird, how I could forget. Some parts are still vivid, but most of the negative stuff.. morning sickness, pelvic pain, round ligament pain memory is all gone. It's like my brain just wants to associate everything good with my wittle bug. Maybe that's the magic that keeps baby fever going!

Anyway, I can chalk it up to hormones, I think. Maybe it's some sort of repressed psychological things from my childhood? or could be both!

Either way, I felt better afterwards. A sense of relief washed over me as I realized Princess Anna, and Else resolve their differences in the end. All is well in the world.



Above image from: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/364510163562749298/

Green with Digital Envy

Focus on Self-improvement 

Katie got into law school? Susie is taking another vacation to the Bahamas? Jeremy graduated from Pharm School? Jack got a new car?

Oh my!

And then I think to myself- What have I done recently? Everyone seems to be doing better than me.

{Cue violins, dark stormy clouds, etc }

I can't tell you how many times I have felt like this after going through all my social media accounts. I start thinking about how I'm behind in life, or how I'm not going places. I start complaining to my husband that we need to take more trips, or should have delayed having children so I could have applied to law school. Usually, he gives me a look of disdain. But, when I continue to persist, he gives me insight to things that I didn't even think of like:

Katie may have gotten into law school, but doesn't have the money to pay for it and will have to get loans and be indebted before her career even starts

Susie may have not vacationed that much earlier as a child, and has the means to do it now

Jeremy graduated from pharmacy school but may not be able to find a job immediately

Jack may have been saving to buy his new car for years

We don't really know the back stories, or what the future may entail for any scenario we think we may know. He tells me to focus on myself. Focus on self-improvement.

This conversation always makes me feel better, and every time we've had it I've learned to shift my thought pattern a different way. I've been doing that the last few times I get this way. If I think differently from the onset, I feel better at the end of my social media session. I haven't become a sage or anything but...

Here is what I've realized-

Every person is on their own path. Their unique journey. Look inside yourself, and find ways to make changes to get where you want rather than feeling jealous or upset.

Now, if I could only get myself to follow my own advice... more often that is 

There was an article published in the Wall Street Journal that mentioned that if you have such feeling of envy or want, it's better to put it to good use than getting worked up about it. It suggests to use the feelings of wanting more to good use. Instead of focusing what you could have done- turn it around to focus on you will do in the future to get your life the way you want it. Let others fuel your desire to work harder, and succeed at what you wish to do.

It's so easy to be swept into the lure of social media. It's an excellent way to keep in touch with friends, family, and co-workers but can be detrimental to overall health- BUT, only if you let it.

It is a slow process, but putting all this into perspective has helped put me be at ease with where I am in life at this very moment.

I need to let myself be my guide, and be my own benchmark for success, not someone else. I understand this can't happen in a day, But I know I can work toward it.


Have you ever felt this way? Have you overcome it?

Let's GO!

...And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair- Khalil Gibran

I have a slight case of cabin fever! I feel like being a SAHM lends itself to this, but still....

I want to sing at the top of my lungs! Frolic in fields, fiddle with flowers, climb to mountaintops!

Alas, I have a teething 1- year old, and braxton-hicks contractions holding me back from rugged mountain climbing, frolicking, and other outdoorsy activities.

Although, I'm sure little miss wouldn't mind. She's just gotta get a hang of the whole walking thing. Until then, I can vicariously vacation by looking at past trips. ... It's just as good right?

Soon...!

What do you plan to do with your life?

The other day my mom and I were out shopping. A family friend saw us, and we were flagged her down. After a brief update of each others lives, she turns to me asks: what have to you been up to? have you gone back to work? Raising kids? another one on the way? Boy, that was quick! ( as she chuckles) So, what are you planning to do in the future?

First of all, I'll take one question at a time. Second, I haven't given all these questions much deep thought to fire off answers on the spot, at the grocery store none the less.

So, in that brief moment, I self-reflected. I thought about she wanted to know. She essentially wants to know what I plan to do with the rest of my life.

I don't know myself, lady. I'm just taking it one day at a time. But, I had to have a response. So, I smiled and stammered out; I'm just taking some time off to raise my baby. I don't know the exact plans for the future yet.

This seemed to suffice her appetite for questions.

The encounter was over, but a glaring question that was posed was still weighing on my mind. What did I plan to do in the future? What did I plan to do with the rest of my life? I began to feel anxious because I honestly don't know!

Right now, I just plan on taking care of my daughter until she's ready for school. I want to pop out baby number two in October. At that time take care of two instead of one. So basically, I want to live in a familial setting for the next 2-3 years. I've got that covered.

But... then what?

Will someone still hire me 4 years after being out of the workforce?
Will I even want to work at that time?
Will I be ready to move the focus back to myself?
Will I be able to maintain a career?

This leads me to another question-  how long can you plan for with life? 2 years? 1 year? a month?

With so much unpredictability, it's hard to plan out more than a week in my opinion!

As these thoughts swirled in my mind, I felt like I was going to have a full blown anxiety attack. I felt nauseous because I don't like thinking about stuff like this.

I don't know if this is a normal reaction to such questions.

Maybe I just think too much

and care too much about other people think

but I needed something, stat!

I decided to eat cookies by the pound at Whole Foods to drown out the anxiety. Which, by the way, was an EXCELLENT idea, and soon all my worries were gone. I don't recommend this all the time, but once in a while I think food can be therapy.

you know what? I felt a little better. Cookies didn't solve my problems, but rather helped me put things into perspective. Live in the moment!

So, I may not have life's big questions answered but, I think that's okay.

 Let's just take it one day at a time.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

My Very Own Tea Ceremony

I just love tea! It soothes my senses, tickles my taste buds, melts away sorrows, and delights as it warms my body to its core. Even in the summertime! 

It's tea time, all the time!

To my great and utter disappointment, I have had to limit my caffeine consumption. But, for growing baby inside me? Anything. It's only temporary. I suppose I can make do with less, as long as its not cold turkey. So naturally a tea lover like myself was elated when my doctor said I could have less than 300 mg a day! This opened up a world of possibilities. I could have black tea in the morning, green tea in the afternoon, and finish off with an herbal tea in the evening. All within my caffeine limits! Could there be anything better than that? Maybe throw in a slice of cake. At that point, I'll just pass on and go straight to heaven. So I'd like to share elements of my morning tea ritual. I like to call it a "tea ceremony." 

My baby and I fill up a pot of water. Okay, she watches intently throughout the whole thing. I add a few ingredients to the water like fennel seeds, a cinnamon stick, and a few cardamom pods. It really adds flavor, and a delicious fragrance. I wait until the water comes to a boil.

In the meantime, I set aside some loose tea. I usually use about 2 teaspoons for 2 cups of water. It's so much more flavorful than bagged tea. Although I keep bagged teas around for convenience as well. There is really great loose leaf tea set you can get to try out the roaming free variety right here.

Add the loose tea to a tea pot with a strainer. Let the tea sit for the amount of time required. It's usually about 6 minutes for my black tea. It is a little less or green and herbal teas.
Pour into a cup, add sweetener as needed.

Enjoy!

Do remember to try it with the herbs suggested; it really does add a subtle difference!

Anyone else out there like tea as much as I do?

Maya Angelou- Art Expressed through Words

A simple combination of words can stir up the deepest of emotions. That's the beauty of writing. 

Some are talented enough to share their words with the world and allow the reader to feel the emotion behind what was written. 

I have felt this way with every single piece of writing that has been authored by Maya Angelou. 

It started when I was very young, maybe 6th grade when I read - I Know why the Caged Bird Sings. I just wanted to keep reading. I turned the pages quickly, taking in the story as not to miss a word even though I could take it at my pace. But her stories are not meant to be read that way. They created an appetite within me that couldn't be suppressed until I turned the page, and then the next. Until I was finally satisfied-  and that was when the story ended. 

This is art expressed through words-  holding a person's attention with your message. 

Growing up in a South-Asian household in the United States wasn't necessarily fun. I was constantly at odds with my culture. I couldn't understand why my mom wouldn't approve of my wanting to be a ballet dancer, or a violinist.  

A lot of times, I felt trapped by the confines of tradition. This is when I would turn to reading. 

 I would always use Dr. Angelou's words to express my sentiments when asked why I couldn't pick more South-Asian professions: 

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." 

Tradition couldn't shape my views.  Even if my mom didn't understand what I meant by this, I knew I did. Her words gave my emotions a voice. They helped articulate what I wanted to say, but couldn't.

She has given me the tools to better understand myself.  Her words helped me understand that I am not the only one experiencing the internal struggles to fit in to society, or even in your family.

 She has passed on, but her words will always be here for me to seek solace from. Words I treasure every day, and strive to live by. 

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou:

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"

"What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger"

"I can be changed by what happened to me; but I refuse to be seduced by it"

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. "

(Above Photo from: http://www.brainpickings.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/angelou_free.jpg)

Book Review Fridays- Three Cups of Tea

I really, really wanted to love this book. The idea, and the message just seemed very noble in its own right. Who doesn't love the idea of a man coming to climb a mountain, getting inspired, and then spending the next years of his life building schools for underprivileged children in a third-world country? That was the draw for me. I wish I was Greg Mortenson. I wish I could have built schools for children, especially for girls that didn't have access to public education. This was my chance to be a vicarious altruist. 

Sadly, that didn't happen.

The writing style is more like an essay than a story. I never felt swept away at any part of this book. I kept waiting for that moment when I would connect, it never came. The content is rich, the descriptions are thorough, but I feel the heart is not there. The story-telling is very vanilla. The focus was very much on Mortenson rather than the work that he was doing. His pretentiousness overshadowed most of his interactions with the townspeople.

So is there anything good about this book? Yes, there are some redeeming qualities in the book. One of my favorite parts is when Greg is sharing the yak tea with Haji Ali.  That chapter brought to life deep characters with thoughtful reflections.

The scandal that has overcome this book was also something that was in the back of my mind while I was reading. I kept wondering if I was reading a fictional story. Whether or not Mortenson truly helped those girls, we will never know for sure.

Overall, the message is positive, but execution was off-point.

Score- 2.5 out of 5

Monterrey excursion

Have you ever been to Monterrey? It's off the coast of central California. My husband and I took a trip there recently, and we loved it. It's this quaint little beach town, with fun shops, scenic drives, and a boardwalk. I loved taking photos with my new camera! I wanted to share some of my photos that I took. Tell me what you think!

Holiday Entertaining

I finally got to host my first Christmas party! I always wanted to attempt this sort of entertaining, but never felt I could pull it off. Well, I mustered up the courage to do it, and well, I did it! Have you ever wanted to entertain? Try it, it's fun (with some exceptions!) Here are some photos from the event!

Setting it all up!

Reaching for a quick snack

Here is the appetizer spread. We had eggnog, fried wontons, jalapeno poppers, spanokopita, and fruit skewers.

A closer look!

                                  

Sunny Seattle!

I know what you're thinking, Seattle... and sunny? No way. Acutally, we were pretty lucky to have great weather the entire time we were there! The city has a really relaxed feel to it. It kind of reminded me of my favorite city near the bay in California.   Take a look at the gorgeous views!